If you follow this blog, you may have noticed that there wasn’t a Workshop Wednesday post this week.
You can probably guess why from the title, but I’m gonna say it anyway.
I’m no longer just an aspiring writer struggling to learn her characters, descriptions, and how to English properly (of which proper comma placement still eludes me).
My first book Vicissitude: Lost Earth was officially born into the world and with that I’m finally an author.
No more being just a dream, no more joking about it, no more wishing, no more hoping.
It. Is. Done.
And I’m not going to sugarcoat this, but pre-publication jitters are not a joke. The moments leading up to me finally pushing that sucker out into the world were some of the most nerve-wracking ones that I’ve had in a long time.
Granted, I didn’t have any nervous breakdowns, tears, or anything dramatic. It helped a lot to know that those feelings were perfectly normal. Ironically, in the end, a mini freakout session made me feel better. Weird-sounding, yes. But it helped to catch some major formatting hiccups and some other unexpected errors. So now the book is hopefully fine and healthy
You may be wondering: what happens now? Or what does it feel like to be an author?
As for the first question, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not quite sure.
I know that there’s promoting and marketing to be done. But I’d like to not fly off the handle in that department since this is just my first book. Of course, the journey of being an author isn’t over, it’s only just started.
And naturally, I’ll be sharing the things I learn and blunder into along the way on this blog.
I feel that the point of this blog has started to shift from just sharing things about writing with you guys to being at peace with one’s art, but to also being something to show other people that:
Yes, you can do it. This thing that you’re writing isn’t silly or some dumb dream. It’s real. And you can make it real if you’re willing to fight to see it all the way through.
As for what it feels like actually to be an author… I still feel like I’m in kind of shock. Like I know in my head that I am one, but my body doesn’t know it yet. I wake up in the early morning darkness, eat my fruits and cream oatmeal, and shuffle around the kitchen like a hapless zombie, but then I have to catch myself thinking things like:
“Destine…do you realize that you’re an author?”
“People can actually read this thing you wrote.”
“What are you going to do if they do that? If they don’t like it or don’t care?”
And usually that’s when I have to tell my anxiety to shhh because it’s time to write.
In case you are curious, the book is here.
Hopefully, on Meditative Monday, I’ll have more to reflect on and much more sorted out, but for today I think I need my rest.
Until next time~